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Thread: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

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    Default Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    Doston, Bahut arse pehle ek sher likha tha aaj usi sher ko ghazal ki shakl dene ki koshish ki hai...aap sab apni ray se zaroor nawaziyega aur ismail sahab aur *resham* se meri darkhwast hai ki ise kaise durust kiya jaaye zaroor bataiyega..intizaar rahega!!Shukriya!


    Chehre ko naqaab meiN chupaaye kaun baitha hai?
    HaathoN ko duaooN meiN uthaaye kaun baitha hai?

    Is sang duniya meiN Khuda ki paak baargaaH meiN
    Apni gardan ko jhukaaye kaun baitha hai?

    kaun hamdard hai jo mere jeene ki duaayeiN karta hai
    jaane ashq aankhooN meiN samaaye kaun baitha hai?

    Aaj tak jo bhi mila jaane kyoN nazreiN chura leta tha
    aaj hamari nazroN se nazreiN milaaye kaun baitha hai?

    muddat huyi jab kisi ne palatkar haal-e-dil poocha ho
    aaj haq meiN Sadia ke,mehfil saajaye kaun baitha hai?


    Fakat khaaksaar,
    Sadia Mahnoor Baloch

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    Default Re: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    bhot khub
    sb kuch itna bhi khul ka na batao!!
    gud i like it

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    Default Re: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    اچھا لکھا ہے آپ نے
    سیس
    لکھتے رہیے
    اللہ مزید اس فن میں اضافہ عطا کریں

    امین

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    Default Re: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mahnoor.90 View Post
    Doston, Bahut arse pehle ek sher likha tha aaj usi sher ko ghazal ki shakl dene ki koshish ki hai...aap sab apni ray se zaroor nawaziyega aur ismail sahab aur *resham* se meri darkhwast hai ki ise kaise durust kiya jaaye zaroor bataiyega..intizaar rahega!!Shukriya!


    Fakat khaaksaar,
    Sadia Mahnoor Baloch

    maashaa Allah
    ek achhee koshish hai
    daad aap ke liye
    اسماعیل اعجاز خیال
    محبتوں سے محبت سمیٹنے والا
    خیال آپکی محفل میں آج پھر آیا
    Ismail Ajaz Khayaal
    muHabbatoN se muHabbat sameTne waalaa
    "Khayaal"aapkee maiHfil meN aaj phir aayaa

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    Default Re: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    MASHALLAh.. keep it up !!
    Alhamdullilah

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    Default Re: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    sadia mahnoor baloch ap ki kavish achi ha aur mujhey ye bat jan kar behad acha laga k ap shairy ko ba hesiat fun seekhna aur samajhna chahati hen... ap k khayalat komal hen , aur lafz men jazbey ki aanch bhi ha... lakin agar zara kami ha to "ghinaiyat" ki yani wazn jo sher ka bunyadi wasf ha.... ap ki lagan ko dekh kar men ne ap k ashaar ko "mozoo'n" yani wazn men kar diya ha... koshish ki ha k ap ka khayal wohi rahey... bahar haal jahan zarori tha wahan zara sa farq bhi ha.... khair andaish.... yawar azeem...

    ghazal...

    hasee'n chehra naqabon men chupaye kon betha ha?
    do hathon ko duaao'n men uthaye kon betha ha?

    zara dekho k ab is sang dil dunya men subh o sham
    khuda k aasta'n pe sar jhukaye kon betha ha?

    mere jiney ki khatir ab duaain kon karta ha?
    ye mere wasitey aanso bahaye kon betha ha?

    nazar mujh se chura lene ki aadat ha zamaney ko
    magar dekho nazar mujh se milaye kon betha ha?

    men apni zaat ki tanhaaiyo'n men saadia khush hon
    meri khatir yaha'n mehfil sajaye kon betha ha?

    (Sadia Mahnoor Baloch)

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    Default Re: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    n se pehley jahan ' comma ha wahan noon ghunna parha jaye ga..
    hasee'n.....aasta'n...

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    Default Re: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    bohat zbardast kawish hai mahnoor ap ki.
    or yawaar sir ap ne iss ko wazn dy kr bohat umda shairi hamay samny paish ki hai .

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    Default Re: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    shukria bint aadam.

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    Default Re: Kaun baitha hai...?(Ek ghazal)

    bht shukriya

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