Jahaiz ek buri Rasam (DOWRY- "A SOCIAL CURSE")
DOWRY- "A SOCIAL CURSE"
The pen trembles while mentioning un-islamic customs, traditions and trends being followed in the Indo-Pak subcontinent, while living under the influence of Hindus, where even Muslims have stopped following simplicity taught by the Sunnah and have adopted superficial customs like dowry.
WHY AND HOW THE CUSTOM OF DOWRY WAS INTRODUCED?
In the 13th and 14th century, dowry appeared as a compulsory part of marriage in Rajpootana and in the 19th century it turned into a punishment for the parents of the bride. The concept of marriage without dowry became impossible and it crushed low-income strata and the market value of boys kept on increasing and to be a son in law became a business.
The Urdu word for dowry (Jahaiz) come from the Arabic word ‘Jahaaz’ which means equipment and items which a traveller may need during his journey, or a bride may need to set up her home, or equipment that is needed in order to get a deceased person to his grave.
Dowry is a Hindu custom; in Islam, the custom is to distribute dry dates or sweets at the time of marriage and then to organise a wedding feast (Walima) according to one’s means. As far as dowry is concerned, it has no connection or association with Islam whatsoever. Therefore, the dowry that is given to a girl at the time of marriage is a Hindu custom that has been adopted by Muslims and we are now paying the price of this evil custom. If you study the Holy Qur’an and Ahadith you will see that there is no concept of dowry either
of them. We cannot find any reference or mention of the dowry that is given in any of the authentic books of Ahadith either.
In terms of family law, Islam talks about the following subjects in detail:
3. Maintenance allowance
4. Share of property
5. Mehr and various rights of women
But there is no mention of dowry in Islamic family law.
ISLAMIC CONCEPT OF DOWRY
According to Qur'anic principle eating some one else's money is prohibited. Unjust demands of dowry are also assessed in this context. There is no concept of demanding any thing without payment, the Qur'an says:
"Do not eat each other's money unfairly". On another occasion the Qur'an says, "O believers! Consume not unjustly property of one another"(Al-Nisa verse 29)
So it is clear that the Qur'an does not approve of unjust demands of a heavy dowry. If a girl's parents want to offer some thing to their daughter then it is permissible.
But the groom or his family can never demand any thing or force the bride's family to give dowry, it comes under a type of bribe and bribery is not allowed in Islam. As according to one hadith, "One who takes a bribe or gives a bribe, both will go to hell".
So, it is clear that such demands of dowry or exhibition of wealth of the girl's parents is like bribing one another.
CLARIFICATION OF A DOUBT ABOUT DOWRY OF HAZRAT FATIMA Radiallahu Anha
On the occasion of the wedding of the daughter of our Prophet sallalaho alaihe wasallam, some clothes and perfumes were bought for Hazrat Fatima radiallahu anha, but it was not dowry, because our Prophet (sallalaho alaihe wasallam) ordered Hazrat Bilal radiallahu anhu to sell the armour of Hazrat Ali radiallahu anhu, and then that money was used to buy things for Hazrat Fatima radiallahu anha. So remember Rasool Allah sallalaho alaihe wasallam did not pay for them and he did not give any thing to any other daughter.
Islam is a complete code of life that does not increase problems in life for its followers but rather facilitates their lives by introducing principles of moderation, simplicity and fairness in personal and social life, in loneliness and in a crowd, in war and peace. It guides and polishes all spheres of life as no new religion will come and Islam is dynamically perfect until the day of judgement offering a sane economic structure based on quality justice and integrity.
THE TRAGIC REALITY
The curse of the dowry has pushed us in the era of infidels who used to bury their daughters. Alas! Innocent daughters who have been declared by our Prophet sallalaho alaihi wasallam as a blessing are now considered a burden. No one greets the birth of a daughter. When she enters adulthood wolves are there to threaten her grace and on the other hand questions of her marriage becomes an issue even among neighbours. The daughter of poor parents becomes a target for everyone's daggers of eyes and tongue. Many burned themselves and many committed suicide.
WHO IS THE CULPRIT?
Do we ever think who is the culprit behind this curse of the dowry? In olden times family nobility was preferred and people used to consider how religious and modest is the girl. Now people see status and wealth no matter whether it came from fair or unfair means. The sanctity of matrimonial bond that Islam based on mutual love, respect and understanding has corroded into mere business of dowry rather than the daughters themselves. Tears of mothers, helplessness of daughters and sisters question the so-called gods of society and protest against injustice and cruelty, but do we have sympathetic hearts of real Muslims to listen to their silent cries.
Pledge Against Dowries
We are aware that:
Asking for a dowry is a crime.
Dowry is cruelty against men as well as females.
Dowry is legalised looting.
Dowry is an uncivilised custom
Those who demand dowries are ignorant, disrespectful and greedy.
Dowry is one of the main causes of cruelty to women.
Therefore, in order to alleviate the helplessness and despair of the parents whose daughters are ordered to bring a dowry:
We sincerely pledge that:
When it is time to arrange a marriage we will not ask for a dowry and neither will we help our elders in keeping this useless custom alive.
We consider demanding a dowry as an insult to our masculinity and our self-respect and confidence is demanding that we do not ask for a dowry.
We refuse to accept dowries.
We refuse to accept dowries.
We refuse to accept dowries.
Are we ready to follow the golden principles of Islam? The buds of youth of many virgins fade without blossoming and they keep waiting at the doorstep of their parents. The curse of dowries can only be stopped by us and us alone. This practice can be stopped on an individual level but it is necessary that we start from our own homes first.
May Allah soften our hearts and may we be able to follow humanitarian principles of Islam. Ameen.
Last edited by DaNgErOuS tEaRs; 04-01-2012 at 10:27 PM.
Re: Jahaiz ek buri Rasam (DOWRY- "A SOCIAL CURSE")
bhut achi sharing hai mashALLAH