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    Default As I see it 2 (Social and Religious Imbalance)

    Assalaam-O-alaikum SDian

    This is my second post of AS I SEE IT series, and today I am talking about the social and relgious imbalance in our society and some facts and figures of divorce and widows in this beloved country... Your particiapation in exchanging views and comments would be highly appreciated.

    Typically a marriage always starts from a happy note. Both partners are falling in love with each other and early marriage life is really beautiful. They feel that they are really blessed to have found a perfect partner in life. Many couples experience negative changes in their marriages after several years when they start living together and come to know about each other’s habits. Their early happy married lives are replaced by many arguments and fights.

    Conflict
    The couple cannot live together without having an argument under one roof and when things become unbearable for both than they decide to go for divorce.

    ”AND IF YOU FEAR THAT THE TWO (I.e) Husband and wife) may not be able to keep the limits ordered by ALLAH, there is no blame on either of them if she redeems herself (from marriage tie) Surah Al Baqarah:

    Divorce in Pakistan

    The divorce rate has been on the rise in Pakistan over the last decade. Cities like Karachi & Lahore more than 250 divorces are registered in family courts in a day. The divorce rate is increasing not only in the upper class of society but also in lower and middle classes. From February 2005 to January 2008 approximately 1,75,000 divorce cases had been registered. From February 2008 to May 2011 2,241,41 divorce cases were registered. Around 4,59,064 separations have taken place in these two metropolises over the last decade. The word ‘divorce’ was unheard in Pakistani society and it was considered a shame. Pakistan is a conservative country and the word ‘divorce’ comes with a stigma attached to it.

    Causes

    Many women who are unhappy will not decide for divorce because of the label 'Talaaq Yaafta' attached to it. Previously women had to compromise due to various reasons; financial burden, social pressure from society and lack of family support because of that they will remain in an unhappy marriage and will not go for divorce. Parents were also not supportive and when a girl was getting married the first thing they will induce in mind of a girl that 'you have to compromise no matter what the circumstances are'. B

    ut things are not the same anymore, mind sets are changing. The most important factor which is contributing in high rate of divorce in Pakistan is financial independence of women, lack of compromise from both sides and intolerant attitude. Women are acquiring higher education and contributing their due share in every sector of society and they are not a burden any longer. Working women who are financially strong are less willing to work on their marriages and can quickly opt for divorce. When a woman is financially strong she doesn’t feel the need to compromise on worst marital relationship.

    Women in Pakistan are not the scapegoat of men anymore and they don’t tolerate the dominance of men. Social change has played a vital role in changing the backward mentality of people about women empowerment. Women are able to support their living without anyone’s help. They are fully aware about their rights and know the way to defend them.

    Families are suffered

    The rate of divorce is higher among educated families, although such laws had been made which totally support women seeking divorce and the whole procedure has been made easier. Although Pakistan is a male dominating society and men want their wives to stay at home, look after their children and want them not to think about their career. Sometimes this situation becomes worse due to lack of compromise from both sides and egotistical attitude. Lack of tolerance and compromise among couples plays a vital role in increase in rate of divorce in Pakistan. Compromise is a key factor which can make life easier and save from destruction.

    The Bottom-line & impact

    Fundamentally, all the ‘causes’ of divorce should be looked into and corrected. That is the only way, in which the divorce rate can come down. As I see it, there is only one solution and that is ‘Compromise and Sacrifice for each other.’ This will only lead to a happy marriage. Divorce is something that leaves a huge impact in your life. The consequences are bad. It is taken when one has no other option left. Working on your ties is important. A subtle factor which is contributing its share is the glamorous world, where everyone is hunting for his or her ideal. This factor led us away from the facts of real life. That is why, while knowing all the disadvantages of divorce, people go with it. Internationally speaking our world can not afford gender imbalance which comes as a result of divorce. Wedlock is not a compulsion but should be the relation of souls. Mutual tolerance and compromise between husband and wife can play a vital role in lowering the rate of divorce in Pakistan.
    ______________________________________________
    Widow Ratio Estimated

    Pakistan’s population in 2010 is estimated at over 180 million so the number of widows has also increased, According to the latest figures we have in a population of 180.4 million, there were 3.7 million widows.

    Another serious problem is that we have large number of girls who are unmarried and are waiting for 'decent proposal', if the ratio of divorce will get so high how do you axpect that we will not have evil doings in the soceity, when a lady is not support by her husband (who divorced her) she will surely find some other means for feeding her family and kids.... and kids are the most effected one in the soceity if they dont get supported and looked after, they will turn into a 'looter' and even a ganster causing more trouble to the society!!

    May ALLAH SWT light and guide our ways AMEEN SUM AMEEN

    Aap ki duaoon ka talabgaar, ek khaksaar.

    FI amaan ALLAH

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    Walaikumusalam
    main b apne views likhunga

    Sab se pehlay to divorce talaq khula jo b keh lain yeh Humaray Nabi (S.A.W.W) ne is amal ko na pasandeedah amal qaraar diya hai to isko apnanay se pehlay achi tarha sochna chahiye higher societies main nahi jata main kiyun k wahan yeh cheez phir kisi madh main hogi par main yahan pe aik cheez clear karna chahonga k aksar log dehaaton main yan mediocre b shamil hain in main talaq munh zubani kayi bar de detay hain 3 se b ziyada woh phir b sath sath reh rahay hain to yeh kisi lehaaz se b sahi nahi hota na mazhabi tor par na ikhlaqiyaat k lehaaz se they are doing sin ..
    dusra jo main kehna chahonga woh watta satta hota hai jis main aik couple k relation kharab hua to dusra automatic kharab hojata hai khair ab to courts main wesey b watta satta k khilaaf acha code ban geya hai ..
    teesri baat yeh hai k laws qanoon tab tak karamad hotay hain jab unka pata ho banday jab pata hi na ho phir un rights ka qawaneen ka kiya fayedah ..

    in sab ko dekhtay huwaye main yeh kahoonga k Islam se duri ki wajah se yeh sab masayel hain aur yeh us waqt tak hal nahi honay jab tak Islam pe mukamil amal nahi kartay hum ..

    yeh meri personal observations hain is liye dil azaar na karay koi
    Last edited by Vampire; 28-12-2013 at 05:37 PM.

    eq2hdk - As I see it 2 (Social and Religious Imbalance)

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    Assalaam-O-alaikum @Vampire;

    Aap nay topic paRha aur iss per apnay comments diye, uss kay liye bayhadh shukriya

    Aap nay bilkul sahii kaha kay ISLAM say doori humain aur bhi bohat cheeson say door kar rahii hay, maslan humain khandaani aur maashartii usoolon ka lihaz dour hogaya hay, baRoon ki izzat karna dour ho gaya hay, maafa-maafi (darguzar) say kaam laina dour hogaya hay, sabar say kaam laina dour hogaya hay, I mean humara maashra tamam tar Ikhlaaqi hadoon say dour hota jaa raha hay!!!

    Jahan tak dehatoon main TALAQ ka ta'aluq hay yahan per 'taleem' ki kamii hay, aur education and awarness ki bohat sakht zaroorat hay.. albatta educated societies main bhi issay baRa aam samjha jaa raha hay, which will offcourse will turn-out to be a TABOO of our society if we do not control this.

    Thank you again, khush rahyeh


    Quote Originally Posted by Vampire View Post
    Walaikumusalam
    main b apne views likhunga

    Sab se pehlay to divorce talaq khula jo b keh lain yeh Humaray Nabi (S.A.W.W) ne is amal ko na pasandeedah amal qaraar diya hai to isko apnanay se pehlay achi tarha sochna chahiye higher societies main nahi jata main kiyun k wahan yeh cheez phir kisi madh main hogi par main yahan pe aik cheez clear karna chahonga k aksar log dehaaton main yan mediocre b shamil hain in main talaq munh zubani kayi bar de detay hain 3 se b ziyada woh phir b sath sath reh rahay hain to yeh kisi lehaaz se b sahi nahi hota na mazhabi tor par na ikhlaqiyaat k lehaaz se they are doing sin ..
    dusra jo main kehna chahonga woh watta satta hota hai jis main aik couple k relation kharab hua to dusra automatic kharab hojata hai khair ab to courts main wesey b watta satta k khilaaf acha code ban geya hai ..
    teesri baat yeh hai k laws qanoon tab tak karamad hotay hain jab unka pata ho banday jab pata hi na ho phir un rights ka qawaneen ka kiya fayedah ..

    in sab ko dekhtay huwaye main yeh kahoonga k Islam se duri ki wajah se yeh sab masayel hain aur yeh us waqt tak hal nahi honay jab tak Islam pe mukamil amal nahi kartay hum ..

    yeh meri personal observations hain is liye dil azaar na karay koi

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    Quote Originally Posted by thefire1 View Post
    Assalaam-O-alaikum @Vampire;

    Aap nay topic paRha aur iss per apnay comments diye, uss kay liye bayhadh shukriya

    Aap nay bilkul sahii kaha kay ISLAM say doori humain aur bhi bohat cheeson say door kar rahii hay, maslan humain khandaani aur maashartii usoolon ka lihaz dour hogaya hay, baRoon ki izzat karna dour ho gaya hay, maafa-maafi (darguzar) say kaam laina dour hogaya hay, sabar say kaam laina dour hogaya hay, I mean humara maashra tamam tar Ikhlaaqi hadoon say dour hota jaa raha hay!!!

    Jahan tak dehatoon main TALAQ ka ta'aluq hay yahan per 'taleem' ki kamii hay, aur education and awarness ki bohat sakht zaroorat hay.. albatta educated societies main bhi issay baRa aam samjha jaa raha hay, which will offcourse will turn-out to be a TABOO of our society if we do not control this.

    Thank you again, khush rahyeh


    Walaikumusalam

    hun tusi inna likhday o tey fir sahnu parhna tey chahiyedah ey na
    maine aisey cases dekhay hain .. ziyada taleem b ajkal insaan ko kharab kar rahi hai kiyun k uska implementation sahi nahi hai aur kam taleem to hoti hi nahi sahi hai ..
    filhaal to dua hi karsaktay hain
    Ap b khush rahiye

    eq2hdk - As I see it 2 (Social and Religious Imbalance)

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    Aap ki iss baat per mujhay Ishtiaq Ahmed sahab ka aik quote yaad aagaya....

    "Har paRha Likha shakhs Tarbiyat yaafta nahin hota"

    Srif education doesnt make a person a good human, his personal ethics and also upbrining at home (jissay him tarbiyat kehtay hain) plays are major role for him to be a good and respected citizen in particular and a good human in general, jabkay humaray yahan ghar main tarbiyat main unhain kuch khaas nahin mil raha, na parents kay paas time aur naa hi bachoon kay paas fursuat... even aik ghar main bhi reh kar hum Whatsapp aur viber per communication kar rahay hotay hain...

    I read somewhere, kay agar family meeting call karnii ho tou jiss room main 'Wifi router' hay ussay OFF kar kay uss room main wait karain, you will find all your family member there.... advance technology is taking our ethics and our moral values away... we have learn and learn it fast how to use it.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Vampire View Post


    Walaikumusalam

    hun tusi inna likhday o tey fir sahnu parhna tey chahiyedah ey na
    maine aisey cases dekhay hain .. ziyada taleem b ajkal insaan ko kharab kar rahi hai kiyun k uska implementation sahi nahi hai aur kam taleem to hoti hi nahi sahi hai ..
    filhaal to dua hi karsaktay hain
    Ap b khush rahiye

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    Quote Originally Posted by thefire1 View Post
    Aap ki iss baat per mujhay Ishtiaq Ahmed sahab ka aik quote yaad aagaya....

    "Har paRha Likha shakhs Tarbiyat yaafta nahin hota"

    Srif education doesnt make a person a good human, his personal ethics and also upbrining at home (jissay him tarbiyat kehtay hain) plays are major role for him to be a good and respected citizen in particular and a good human in general, jabkay humaray yahan ghar main tarbiyat main unhain kuch khaas nahin mil raha, na parents kay paas time aur naa hi bachoon kay paas fursuat... even aik ghar main bhi reh kar hum Whatsapp aur viber per communication kar rahay hotay hain...

    I read somewhere, kay agar family meeting call karnii ho tou jiss room main 'Wifi router' hay ussay OFF kar kay uss room main wait karain, you will find all your family member there.... advance technology is taking our ethics and our moral values away... we have learn and learn it fast how to use it.....

    sahi baat yaad ayi hai apko /up haan aisa hai sirf parha lena kafi nahi hota .. hahaha whatsapp viber pe communication aik hi ghar main
    is lehaz se to yeh baat sahi hai wifi band karnay wali

    eq2hdk - As I see it 2 (Social and Religious Imbalance)

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    walikum salam
    hamari society k bht serious issue ko point out kia hai aap neee
    jahan tak mera khayal hai k hamari society me divorce ki ratio barhne ki sab se bari waja islam se doori aur bardasht ki kami hai life me bht jaga compromise karna parta but is k liye bardasht aur sabar chahiye jo k aj kal ki life me khtam hota ja rhaaa yehi cheez divorce ki ratio ko barhati ja rhiiiiiii
    infact aj kal sab ko ye sabaq diya ja rha k apne haq k liye bolo kisi ki baat ko nhi maano agar koi aaap ko kuch kehe to age se chup rehne ki bajaye bar barh k jawaab do to is tarah se baat khatam hone ki bajaye barhti hain n rezult bht bura ata samne
    apne right k liye bolna chahiye lakeeen polite reh k is k ilawa thora sabar se kaaam lena hota har mamle me lakeeen hum aj kal sabar ki bajaye josh se kaaam lete hain so rezult sab k samne k aj kal hamari society me kya kuch ho rhaaaa............


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    Bilkul sahii kaha aap nay Maryam sister kay ISLAM ki taleemat say doori aur compromise nahin karna hii wajoohaat hain inn TALAQ kii aur humara maashra itna bayreham ho chuka hay kay inn talaq yaafta aur bewa say shaadi karna ganwaara hi nahin kartay...


    Pakistan main dosri shaadi aur 'extra marital affairs' bhi bohat aam ho rahay hain jinn ki waja say gharayloo zindagi main bohat tanayoo paida hota hay aur afsoos ki baat aur yeh bhi hay kay yeh extra marital affairs umooman apnay say umar main bohat kam aur 'kanwaari' laRkiyon kay saath hotay hain ziyda tar... main justification nahin day raha magar iss baat ko point out kar raha hoon kay agar iss kay bajayay BEWA aur TALAQYAAFTA aurat ko iss niyat say apnaaya jaayay kay ussay SAHARA day rahay hain tou shayed maashray main iss ratio ko kamm kardiya jaayay aur ISLAM main 4 shaadi kay concept ko sahii tareeqay say use kia jaayay!!

    Khair yeh baat bohat 'Controversial' hay aur itni aasaani say hazam nahin hoogi, magar ISLAMI taleemaat humain yehii sikhaatii hain, kay Sahab-e-karam RZ nay jab koi bhi aurat bewa hogayiii yaa talaq yaafta ko humesha apnaaya taakay aik 'family nizaam' qayiim hoon aur aurat ko sahara bhi milay aur woh husool-e-rizq kay liye aur apni 'zaati khuwahishaat' ki takmeel kay liye koi 'haram' zariya na istimaal karain!

    May ALLAH SWT light and guide our ways AMEEN

    Fi amaan ALLAH



    Quote Originally Posted by ~HaAni~ View Post
    walikum salam
    hamari society k bht serious issue ko point out kia hai aap neee
    jahan tak mera khayal hai k hamari society me divorce ki ratio barhne ki sab se bari waja islam se doori aur bardasht ki kami hai life me bht jaga compromise karna parta but is k liye bardasht aur sabar chahiye jo k aj kal ki life me khtam hota ja rhaaa yehi cheez divorce ki ratio ko barhati ja rhiiiiiii
    infact aj kal sab ko ye sabaq diya ja rha k apne haq k liye bolo kisi ki baat ko nhi maano agar koi aaap ko kuch kehe to age se chup rehne ki bajaye bar barh k jawaab do to is tarah se baat khatam hone ki bajaye barhti hain n rezult bht bura ata samne
    apne right k liye bolna chahiye lakeeen polite reh k is k ilawa thora sabar se kaaam lena hota har mamle me lakeeen hum aj kal sabar ki bajaye josh se kaaam lete hain so rezult sab k samne k aj kal hamari society me kya kuch ho rhaaaa............

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    Quote Originally Posted by thefire1 View Post
    Bilkul sahii kaha aap nay Maryam sister kay ISLAM ki taleemat say doori aur compromise nahin karna hii wajoohaat hain inn TALAQ kii aur humara maashra itna bayreham ho chuka hay kay inn talaq yaafta aur bewa say shaadi karna ganwaara hi nahin kartay...


    Pakistan main dosri shaadi aur 'extra marital affairs' bhi bohat aam ho rahay hain jinn ki waja say gharayloo zindagi main bohat tanayoo paida hota hay aur afsoos ki baat aur yeh bhi hay kay yeh extra marital affairs umooman apnay say umar main bohat kam aur 'kanwaari' laRkiyon kay saath hotay hain ziyda tar... main justification nahin day raha magar iss baat ko point out kar raha hoon kay agar iss kay bajayay BEWA aur TALAQYAAFTA aurat ko iss niyat say apnaaya jaayay kay ussay SAHARA day rahay hain tou shayed maashray main iss ratio ko kamm kardiya jaayay aur ISLAM main 4 shaadi kay concept ko sahii tareeqay say use kia jaayay!!

    Khair yeh baat bohat 'Controversial' hay aur itni aasaani say hazam nahin hoogi, magar ISLAMI taleemaat humain yehii sikhaatii hain, kay Sahab-e-karam RZ nay jab koi bhi aurat bewa hogayiii yaa talaq yaafta ko humesha apnaaya taakay aik 'family nizaam' qayiim hoon aur aurat ko sahara bhi milay aur woh husool-e-rizq kay liye aur apni 'zaati khuwahishaat' ki takmeel kay liye koi 'haram' zariya na istimaal karain!

    May ALLAH SWT light and guide our ways AMEEN

    Fi amaan ALLAH



    sahi kaha bro
    humara almiya hai na ye aur hum bajaye ise change karnew k srf dosron ko criticise karte k us ne divorce le li.......... n hamari socirty me almost divorce ka qasoorwaar women ko hi samjha jata hai chahe qasooor mardon ki side pe hon coz hamari society male dominating hai.........
    aur b kafi reasons hain hamari society me divorce ratio barhne ki jin me ye main reasons.............
    Ameeen


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    aur tou aur.... aik TALAQ yaafta MARD kii shaadi baRii asaani say ho jaatii hay aur talaq yaafta aurad jaisay maashray per aik 'Dhabba' tasawwur kii jaati hay... I mean, this is really unfortunate that we are living in a 'Double Standard' soceity!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by ~HaAni~ View Post


    sahi kaha bro
    humara almiya hai na ye aur hum bajaye ise change karnew k srf dosron ko criticise karte k us ne divorce le li.......... n hamari socirty me almost divorce ka qasoorwaar women ko hi samjha jata hai chahe qasooor mardon ki side pe hon coz hamari society male dominating hai.........
    aur b kafi reasons hain hamari society me divorce ratio barhne ki jin me ye main reasons.............
    Ameeen

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