Cricketing awards 2008
The Laurel and Hardy Slapstick moment of 2008 Award
This has to go to Harbajhan Singh and Sreesanth for that unforgettable moment in the IPL which brought a new meaning to the word slapstick. Sadly though for Sreesanth it all ended in tears.
The Mike Tyson wouldnít like to meet in a dark Alley Award
That goes to the 7 foot 2Ē West Indian spinner Suleman Benn. A man so fearsome looking that he makes Roger Harper look like a fairy godmother.
The Wisden Learn the Cricketing Rules Award
This goes to Monty Panesar for his incessant appealing in every match that he plays despite the fact that the ball pitched a foot outside the leg stump and would have missed the stumps by a mile. Keep trying Monty.
The Neil Armstrong hit the ball to the Moon Award
This goes to Shahid Afridi for his distance hitting. Sadly most of the time the ball reaches hundreds of metres, but only straight up in the air, rather than over the stands.
The Guy Ritchie and Madonna match made in heaven Award
This goes to Yuvraj Singh and Kevin Pietersen for their petty public rows in the England v India test series. Non stop arguing and the divorce is imminent I think.
The WG Grace Iím not Playing any more Award
PP presents that to Daren Powell for his temper tantrum and throwing of the ball at the batsman as he ran in during the 2nd test in the NZ v West Indies test match.
The Facebook Cricketer of the Year Award
That goes to Shoaib Malik for his romance by internet and alleged marriage by internet. Forget arranged marriages, facebook marriages are all the rage now.
The Inzamam ul Haq Itchiest Beard Award
That is presented to Daniel Vettori. The Kiwi skipper seems to be overdoing the delaying tactics against the opposition, spending at least 30 minutes an innings on scratching his beard. Lice treatment companies are in a battle to sponsor Daniel.
The Mithun Chakrabothy Iíve not got Style Award
This will be presented to Robin Uthappa. The man who thought his new hairstyle would bring him success and a bag full of runs. Instead it brought him a bag full of laughter from viewers and fans and losing his place in the Indian team.
The Chris Tavare most boring cricketer of the year Award
This goes to Virender Sehwag for his tedious and selfish style of batting throughout 2008. Sehwag who only managed a strike rate of 99.96 through the year isnít a patch on Chris Tavare, according to Geoff Boycott.
The Joe Calzaghe pound for pound Iím the best fighter in the world Award
This has been won by Gautham Gambhir. At about 5 foot 6 and 9 stone ringing wet, Gambhir has accepted quite a few challenges on the cricket field and has certainly not been overawed by the verbals. Strangely though off the field when his opponents wanted to continue with the discussions, Gambhir locked himself in the toilets and could be heard sobbing.
The Emirates Airlines AirMiles for Doing Nothing Award
Once again this goes to Shoaib Akhtar who flew to Canada in the guise of a cricketer, but ensued to have a lovely break, some shopping, some partying but no cricket.
The Mr Consistent Award
This is presented to Jason Kreicja for his performances so far in test cricket. Mr consistent has scored a century in each of his innings Ė thatís a century against his bowling.
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