Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    not on streets, obviously!! LOL
    Posts
    6,514
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    32 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    1
    Rep Power
    21474852

    Default wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    aslamaykum friends

    aik try ki hai but i dont like it

    plz do give ur constructive feedback, thnx

    wafa pe sitam dahaana parray ga
    zindgi say bichher jana parray ga

    darr-e-intazaar betha hai koi aur
    ghar mein ussay basaana parray ga

    qismat ka likha tall sakta nahi
    adhoora pyar maqaddar banana parray ga

    iss kahani ka anjaam ruswai hai dosto!
    beech rastay sabkuch gunwana parray ga

    labb khamosh ankhain hein shikwa-e-beniyaz

    waada toh wafaa karna parray ga

    chalna hai hummien anjaan rastoon par
    rasm-e-duniya toh nibhana parray ga


    dil ki kirchiyon nay seekha dia
    phir na jeena marrna parray ga
    ranisrequest - wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    shahr e karachi
    Posts
    522
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    0
    Rep Power
    21474846

    Default Re: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    wah rani ,,boht achi kawish hay,boht achi ghzal hay,,koan kah raha hay kay achi kawish nahi hay,aap say aap nay ghalat kaha hay,,boht achi ghazal hay,,bas mamooli sa wazan bahr ka maslala hay,,wo khud hi theek hojaiy ga..ghazal boht achi thi,,boht saari daad aap ko rani
    love thou - wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    not on streets, obviously!! LOL
    Posts
    6,514
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    32 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    1
    Rep Power
    21474852

    Default Re: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    bohat shukriya janab itni hosla afzai ka

    mager mujhay yeh bharpoor ghazal nahi lagti hai
    ranisrequest - wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Hijr
    Posts
    152,763
    Mentioned
    104 Post(s)
    Tagged
    8577 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    80
    Rep Power
    21474998

    Default Re: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    Kuch Baatein Yaad Dila Di

    Thx 4 The Beautifull Sharing

    Thx

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    london.
    Posts
    562
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    0
    Rep Power
    21474846

    Default Re: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    bahot khoob Raani saahiba,bahot achhi koshish hai ghazal kehney ki,so daad qabool kijiye,

    aek pattey ki baat bhi batata chalooN,
    aap ki is ghazal main aap ne qaafiya baandha hai,....dhaana,..jaana,....basaana,....banaana,..waghera,lek in sheir #5,aor sheir #7 main aap ne qaafiya badal diya,aor qaafiya istamaal kiya,...karnaa,..marnaa,

    yaad rakhney ki baat yeh hai ke.....dhaana,..jaana,....basaana,........aor,......karnaa,m arnaa,bharnaa,......yeh 2 mukhtalif qawaafi(qaafiya ki jama) haiN,aor aek hi ghazal main naheen aa saktey,
    umeed hai aap samajh rahi hongi,main kaya kehna chaah raha hoon,agar kuchh uljhan mehsoos karain to dubaara se poochh lijiye ga,
    baaqi wazn ki jo baat hai,woh musalsal mashq se INSHA ALLAH theek ho jaaye ga,
    so likhti aor hams e share karti rahiye,INSHA ALLAH behtari aaye gi kalaam main,
    bahot khush rahiye,
    Dastaar beich kar maiN bachaauN jo Zain sar
    hai aarzoo-e-zeest, magar is qadar naheeN


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    not on streets, obviously!! LOL
    Posts
    6,514
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    32 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    1
    Rep Power
    21474852

    Default Re: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Tears View Post
    Kuch Baatein Yaad Dila Di

    Thx 4 The Beautifull Sharing

    Thx
    kuch logoon ki zindgi innhi batoon pe ebaarat hoti hai

    thnx
    ranisrequest - wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    not on streets, obviously!! LOL
    Posts
    6,514
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    32 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    1
    Rep Power
    21474852

    Default Re: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    Quote Originally Posted by zain View Post
    bahot khoob Raani saahiba,bahot achhi koshish hai ghazal kehney ki,so daad qabool kijiye,

    aek pattey ki baat bhi batata chalooN,
    aap ki is ghazal main aap ne qaafiya baandha hai,....dhaana,..jaana,....basaana,....banaana,..waghera,lek in sheir #5,aor sheir #7 main aap ne qaafiya badal diya,aor qaafiya istamaal kiya,...karnaa,..marnaa,

    yaad rakhney ki baat yeh hai ke.....dhaana,..jaana,....basaana,........aor,......karnaa,m arnaa,bharnaa,......yeh 2 mukhtalif qawaafi(qaafiya ki jama) haiN,aor aek hi ghazal main naheen aa saktey,
    umeed hai aap samajh rahi hongi,main kaya kehna chaah raha hoon,agar kuchh uljhan mehsoos karain to dubaara se poochh lijiye ga,
    baaqi wazn ki jo baat hai,woh musalsal mashq se INSHA ALLAH theek ho jaaye ga,
    so likhti aor hams e share karti rahiye,INSHA ALLAH behtari aaye gi kalaam main,
    bahot khush rahiye,
    bohat shukriya master ji

    plz aap issi tarah humein ghultiyan batatay rahein toh humein poori umeed hai k hum thora bohat seekh he lien gay

    baqi baat rahi qafiya ki, yeh baat mein pehlay say he janti thi k qafiya (s) math nahi kartay mager jahan match nahi kartay wahan koi alternative words nahi mil rahay thay iss liye innhien words pe guzaara karna parra

    master ji, ager aap iss mamlay mein meri rehnmai kar saktay hein toh mein aapki be-hadh mashkoor rahoon gi
    ranisrequest - wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    25,300
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    442 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    0
    Rep Power
    11381699

    Default Re: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    Walekam-Aslam
    hum say tou changa likh letey ho ji
    nice one dear

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    199
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    0
    Rep Power
    683038

    Default Re: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    bohatbohat achhi ghazal kahi hai aap nain rani ...bas wazn aur 2 shairon main qafiya ki ghalti hai..jis ki tarf zain ishara kar chukay hain...issi tarah zain ka sr khati raho ..inshaAllah yh mamooli ghaltiyan bhee nahin hoon gi phir

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    2,051
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    33 Thread(s)
    Thanked
    1
    Rep Power
    4498034

    Default Re: wafa aur rasm-e-duniya

    Assalam-o-Alikum WR WB

    Nice

    FeamnAllah

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •