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Thread: best of tech support

  1. #1
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    best of tech support

    TAKE A LOOK:

    1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
    Customer : "Ok."
    Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
    Customer : "No."
    Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer : "No.."
    Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
    this point?"
    Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."



    ------------ --------- --------- --------- -


    2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
    getting the same error message."
    Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
    Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

    3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
    Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
    Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
    Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
    Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
    Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
    Customer : "What?"
    Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
    Customer: "No..."


    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

    4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
    Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)


    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

    5). Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
    can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
    Tech support : ##### ***


    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

    6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
    Customer : "A white one."
    Tech support : ******_____# ###

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --


    7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
    Customer : "Pentium."
    Tech support : ////-----+++

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --


    8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
    Tech support : ??????

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --


    9).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
    Tech Support : ?!%#$




    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --




    10). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
    Tech support : ??????

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --


    11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
    print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
    Tech Support : "What does it say?"
    Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
    Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
    Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
    Tech support : @@@@@

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --


    12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
    24 hours."
    Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

    13). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
    Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
    Tech Support : "Well?"
    Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
    Tech support : *** ---- ++++

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --


    The best of the lot
    14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
    his computer is faulty.
    Tech: What's the problem?
    User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
    Tech: (keep quite)
    Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
    User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
    Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
    User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
    and it will fix the
    problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
    Tech support::
    10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
    is frustrated and fed up.
    Tech support:: (hush hush)
    Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
    is an undocumented DOS
    command that will fix the problem.
    User: I knew it!
    Tech : Just add the line LOAD fun12.com <http://fun12. com/> <http://fun12. com/>http://fun12. com/> http://fun12. com/ > at
    the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
    10 minutes later.
    User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
    Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
    User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
    Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
    NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
    the file. Let me know how it goes.
    1 hour later.
    User : I need a new power supply.
    Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
    Tech support : (hush hush)
    User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
    started asking questions about the make of power supply.
    Tech: Then what did he say?
    User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

    Hight Of all (Too Good)

    15) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
    right now and may I help u in
    finding it out?
    Cust: sure
    CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
    Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
    2r2lpc4 - best of tech support

  2. #2
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    Default Re: best of tech support







    Last edited by Mohammad Sajid; 20-07-2009 at 05:12 PM.
    پھر یوں ہوا کے درد مجھے راس آ گیا

  3. #3
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    Default Re: best of tech support

    error in siggy loading.....



  4. #4
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    Default Re: best of tech support

    Urdu Main Trasnlate Kab Hogi
    پھر یوں ہوا کے درد مجھے راس آ گیا

  5. #5
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    Default Re: best of tech support

    Nice
    **HAPPY RAMZAN KAREEM**



  6. #6
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    Default Re: best of tech support

    صرف آواز نہیں ، لفظ بھی مقفل ہیں مرے

    سوچ میں ہوں کہ اب تجھ کو پکاروں کیسے

  7. #7
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    Default Re: best of tech support

    2112kjd - best of tech support

  8. #8
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    Default Re: best of tech support

    itnaaaa lamba uffffffffff


    per mazay ka hai..
    SD ki Basanti

    Chal DhanoOo

    I Love the feelings When U Hold My Hand....

    53339010150654137193873 - best of tech support

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