Don't tellTen. The number of times on average my mother calls me per day. Thirty-seven. The number of bottles of various medicines she's stuffed in the medicine cabinet. Forty. Thetemperature at which she demands I wear a heavy jacket. Three hundred and sixty five. The number of days per year that I have to literally bite my tongue to stop from screaming due to the extremely high level of irritation. But I don't because I know she only "means well." And after twenty plus years, my tongue (not to mention, brain) has had enough.
By Jasir Jawaid
Don't get me wrong-- I love my parents. They are absolutely selfless, caring, generous people who truly want what's best for me and I appreciate that, but sometimes enough is enough. Luckily, I am not burdened by a chastity belt nor is there barbed wire around bedroom window.
It's so heart breaking to see "Parents" come up on cell phone all the time. A friend of mine has saved his home number as Maut ka Bulawa. And for those of you who don't have overprotective parents, I'm sure you're thinking, "Just don't answer." But NO--that's worse. Because then, the panic sets in, eliciting a rapid-fire series of calls, then texts, then your brothers and sisters join forces with your parents, and then, before you know it, the cops are driving around your neighbourhood with flashlights. But I kid you not when I say my parents will insist on me calling them upon arriving at any destination. I still remember when I got a job at a Call Center, my dad told me to call him as soon as I reached my workplace, and my mom didn't sleep until I got there. If I leave the five-block radius surrounding my house, it's like they expect me to call them, for some reason. And if I don't, they'll call me, of course. "Did you get to your friend's okay, Jasir? Good. Call me later, honey. Okay? Love you so much. Okay. Love you!"
So maybe that seems like it ++++s more than it hurts. But psychiatrists and specialists have shown that there is such a thing as over parenting because as we know, too much of anything is bad. I know I'm not a parent yet, but there's obviously a difference between caring for your child and giving him/her what he/she needs versus worrying too much about every little minute detail to the point where you prevent your child from experiencing life at all. Teaching children how to cope with the experience of stress is important, noting that parents who cut the proverbial umbilical cord and allow their children to deal with life's day-to-day struggles will help them develop more resilience and better coping strategies in the future.
Unfortunately, though none of us want our loved ones to experience pain or difficulties, it is often these negative experiences that teach the most.
Sure, it'd be nice to think we could give the child a free- from-problems life, but without those problem, naiveté will continue to fester and when a child no longer has his/her mommy/daddy to protect him/her, that child will be at a loss.
In general, overanxious parents raise emotionally fragile kids; those who don't know how to stand up for themselves; those who don't know what it means to solve a problem when it's not a simple math equation, and those who don't know how to deal with others. It's more difficult for them to make decisions since their parents have been doing that for them and they aren't equipped to deal with the failure and frustration they're likely to face in the real world since their parents shielded them from those situations.
Luckily, I've made it without too many scars and bruises from my overprotective childhood. There were definitely times when a difficult situation presented itself and I wanted to crumble and cry and call my mom (which rarely happens considering she usually calls me all the time), but I knew I had to be independent and decide what I thought was right. I've realised now I am the only one who truly knows what's best for me--and sometimes, (note: all parents and guardians, please cover your eyes) I don't even zip up my coat when I go outside. I know, what a rebel. Please don't tell my mom. Seriously.