My father passed away about two weeks ago.
I wanted to know when me or my family members go to his grave, is he able to hear us and what we are saying to him?
... and if not is their any way we can have him hear what we say?..
Praise be to Allaah.
The principle is that the dead do not hear the words of the living, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "… but you cannot hear ose who are in graves." [Faatir 35:22] and
"Verily, you cannot make th dead to hear" [al-Naml 27:80]When th Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) addressed the slain kuffaar (disbelievers) aftr th Battle of Badr, Allaah caused them 2 hear his words, although they were at th bottom of the well in which thy had been buried. This was a special case, as th scholars, may Allaah have mercy on Dem, hve stated. (See Al-Aayaat al-Bayyinaat fi ‘adam Samaa’ al-Amwaat).
Perhaps th psychological motive 4 ur wishing Dat uR father cud hear u is an attempt 2 do something to re-establish the communication that has been cut, in order 2 alleviate the pain u ar feeling. But u shud undrstand, my sister, dat Islam has explained wht actions on th part of th living may benefit th dead, nd wht may reach dem in their graves. The Prophet (pbuh) said: "When a person dies, all his deeds come 2 an end except three: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no 1376; he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth)
Th most importnt thing dat will benefit ur father aftr his death, and dat u can do 4 him now dat he is in his grave, is 2 strive 2 pray 4 him nd ask 4 forgivness nd mercy 4 him, nd 4 Paradise nd salvation frm th Fire, nd othr good nd beautiful du’aa’s (prayers).
Prayers 4 forgiveness offered by both sons nd daughters of th deceased bring gr8 benefits, as th Prophet (pbuh) said: "A man’s status will b raised in Paradise nd he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By ur son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you." (Reported by Ibn Maajah, no 3660; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1617)
Another thing dat may reach th deceased is sadaqah (charity) given on his behalf, because ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported dat a man said 2 th Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "My mother has passed away, nd if she cud hve spoken, she wud hve given somthng in charity. Will she receive a reward if I give somthng on her behalf?" He said, "Yes." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 1388)
Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the mother of Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) died whn he ws away frm her. He said: "O Messenger of Allaah, my mothr has died nd I am away from her. Will it benefit hr anythng if I give in charity on hr behalf?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Then I ask u to b my witness dat I am giving my garden al-Mikhraaf (so called cause it bore so many dates) in charity on hr behalf." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 2756)
Abu Hurayrah reported that a man said to the Prophet (pbuh: "My father has died nd left money behind.. He did not make a wasiyyah (a will); will it expiate for his sins if I give some of it in charity on his behalf?" He said, "Yes." (Reported by al-Nisaa’i)
Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah said: "I said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died. Should I give charity on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ I asked, ‘What kind of charity is best?’ He said, ‘Providing water.’" (Reported by al-Nisaa’i)
Other deeds that may also benefit the deceased are Hajj and ‘Umrah on their behalf, after the living person has first performed Hajj and ‘Umrah on his or her own behalf.
‘Abdullaah ibn Buraydah reported that his father (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "While I was sitting with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a woman came to him and said: ‘I gave my mother a slave-woman in charity, and now my mother has died.’ He said: ‘You have got your reward, and your right of inheritance has brought your gift back to you.’ She said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, she still had one month to fast – can I fast it on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Fast it on her behalf.’ She said, ‘She never went to Hajj – can I perform Hajj on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Perform Hajj on her behalf.’" (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, no. 1149)
This shows that it is also permissible to fast on behalf of the deceased.
Another thing that may benefit the deceased is to fulfil their nadhr (vow), because Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that a woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: "My mother made a vow to perform Hajj but she died before she could do it. Can I perform Hajj on her behalf?" He said, "Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Don’t you think that if your mother owed a debt you would pay it off?" She said, "Yes." He said, "Then pay off what is owed to Allaah, for Allaah is more deserving of having vows fulfilled." (al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 7315)
You should also know that keeping yourself busy with praying for your father is more important and better for you, and more beneficial to the deceased, than thinking about whether he can hear your voice. So try to do whatever will be of benefit both to him and you. You and your family should avoid forbidden innovations (bid’ah) such as marking the fortieth day after death, or the passing of one year since the death, or gatherings for reciting al-Faatihah (the first chapter or soorah of the Qur’aan), doing forbidden acts at graves, and so on, deeds which are done by those who are ignorant and are imitated by others.